Claudia = Sick as a dog in peru

hello fans and friends,

claudia is sick in peru. spent last 48 hours in bed. was visited by doctor. hooked claudia up to an IV. Gave her a multitude of shots and pills. she is only now starting to feel better. condition may have caused her to permanently speak in 3rd person. not verified.

WHY NO COMMENTS Y'ALL????!!??!

Lemme just say puhlease to the "Claudia tyranny." Don't buy into her foolish delusions! Once she left for Peru there has been zero Claudia activity on this blog! Ok, one comment, but that's nothing!!

I want to tell you more things about my life, everyone. I have lost more than just my cell phone. I've lost my ability to find beauty and goodness in this world....actually I lost that a long time ago. Really, I lost my mom's cell phone (sucked into mysterious vortex before even arrived in India), lost my beautiful rainbow umbrella, aaannnddd I guess that's it. I almost never lose anything back home, but India makes you CARAZY!!!! Another thing is that when people here reverse their cars, often a MIDI tune will play for the duration of their reversing, which can take a lot of time because people drive extremely strangely here. The tune I hear most often outside my window is "My Heart Will Go On," but sometimes I hear that "be it ever so humble there's no place like home" song or "Jingle Bells." The guy with the titanic song reverses for SO LONG that the MIDI goes all the way through the first verse to the end of the chorus.

Ok you're all bored, but I don't care, this is my blog and I'll do as I please! However, when I have a faster internet connection I will upload some delightful videos for your enjoyment! For now, I leave you with this:

I'm in India Y'all!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me tell you all a fantastical story! This story will have no accompanying pictures because I have taken ZERO pics while I've been here. What can I say, you go somewhere enough and it doesn't excite you anymore. But back to the story! It is about my phone. I took a long autorickshaw ride across town today to find some shop where I was going to informally interview the employees and maybe customers. Even after calling the store for directions, it could not be found. I was unhappy. I wandered the streets drinking Maaza mango drink and eating delicious Lay's American Cream and Onion potato chips. My god, those chips are so good. They are ridged like Ruffles, but are better than any Ruffles or Lay's in the USA. Well, I had failed in my mission for today and decided to retreat home. Instead of sitting in the middle of the autorickshaw seat, I chose to sit in one corner since the upholstery was all torn up and uncomfortable in the middle. This decision, coupled with my distracted interest in delicious potato chips, was my doom. During that 1/2 hour or so ride, my phone slipped quietly out of my pocket, never to be seen again.

Did I need to post this to the blog? No, but I'm angry and it's all I'm thinking about.

Zimbi and Otorongo have same Paws!!!!

A 4th of July Message to all my fans!

CHECK IT OUT!!!! FRESH HOT NEW FOOTAGE OF CLAUDIA AND HER LIFE ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!

When Sheena's Away the Claudia will Play

Sheena is in India and she is busy stepping in wet concrete and NOT UPDATING BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!

So you might be wondering: "What does that mean for Step Right Up - The Official Sheena and Claudia Blogspot"????

Well, I'll tell you what it means.

it means total unrestrained clAuDIa TyRAnNy* on the blog until Sheena decides to step herself back on up and show her dedication to this and, on a larger scale, her dedication to us. (* note: this reads "claudia tyranny" not "claudia tranny)

So the blogs during this period of time will have a decidedly Claudia slant. These takeover blogs, as I have termed them, will serve to alert you to things I have recently found to be very important and deserve your attention.

1st installment - Summer Heights High

This little gem of a tv show stars Chris Lilley as three separate protagonists in an Australian high school. I will not dork on and on about what it is. You basically just need to watch it and then thank me later (in comment form, obvs). I crumpled the proverbial chips in my hand and am now blowing them in your face. It is up to you what you will do with them. Enjoy...

1. Jonah Takalua


2. Mr. G


3. J'amie King